Tuesday, June 14, 2005

GOP NUNNERY For All Those Right Wing Chickenhawks

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Blackadder, the Proto-Republican Aristocrat.

Military recruitment/retention is collapsing. Nervous talk in DC about a possible draft coupled with Bush and his bandits yelling about how we see the light at the end of their asses and are turning so many corners, Groedel himself is now dizzy. Meanwhile, at the DC nunnery for pasty faced white "Christian" college interns at the Heritage Foundation, all is peaceful and swell, not a wiff of danger as they plot to take over the planet while not getting dirty or sweaty.
They are young and bright and ardently right. They tack Ronald Reagan calendars on their cubicle walls and devote brown bag lunches to the free market theories of Friedrich von Hayek. They come from 51 colleges and 28 states, calling for low taxes, strong defense and dorm rooms with a view.

From left, Scott Hurff, Daren Stanaway and Kenneth Cribb, interns at the conservative Heritage Foundation, in the subsidized dorm at the group's headquarters in Washington.

Intern Joel Peyton, who just graduated from Western Kentucky University, is helping to write a paper on privatized services in national parks.

And let's get one thing straight: they're not here to run the copying machine. (Editor: Oh no! That is real work!)

The summer interns of the Heritage Foundation have arrived, forming an elite corps inside the capital's premier conservative research group. The 64 interns are each paid a 10-week stipend of $2,500, and about half are housed in a subsidized dorm at the group's headquarters, complete with a fitness room.
Aw, aren't they cute? Every one of them, a proud supporter of Bush and his lovely war! Every one of them, their parents wave that little ole flag and talk about fighting for democracy! All cowards, rank and utter cowards. Look at the smug face of this fellow: Aren't they full of themselves?

These snarky, pissant little brats think they will rake in the dough and get to order everyone around, especially soldiers, while tanning themselves poolside.
Like all Heritage applicants, she also answered a 12-item questionnaire designed to ferret out latent liberalism with questions about guns, abortion, welfare and missile defense. (If you agree with the statement that "tax increases are the most appropriate way to balance the budget," this is probably not the internship for you.)
Hahaha. Question number one: Do you like to egg your classmates into breaking the rules and then squeal on them to earn brownie points?

Question number two: When you see a lynching, do you flick your bic?

Question number three: Do you think American workers should work longer hours and for more years if this extends your own vacation time?

Question number four: Are you a coward? Well, there are more to this and we can all think of the obvious questions at this point!
While the prestige of Heritage is part of the appeal, so is the work, which rarely involves making coffee or copies. Joel Peyton, who just graduated from Western Kentucky University, is helping to write a paper on privatized services in national parks. That is a task for which he may be especially well suited: after spending three summers working in a Kentucky state park, he published a paper this year denouncing "the inefficiencies of a government-run park system."

When Mr. Peyton's application reached the desk of Ronald D. Utt, a Heritage senior fellow, Mr. Utt said, "Get this guy." An expert in privatization, Mr. Utt had been wanting to make the same arguments about the National Park Service, which he called "the world's largest lawn care and janitorial service."
Yeah, put Smokey the Bear in a blue vest and farm him out as a Walmart greeter! And all those pesky trees: turn them into plywood and fishwrappers for the media! Who needs 'em! These little twerps think parks are for making money, not preserving nature.

Teddy Roosevelt, dear boy, is there some way to get you to rise from the grave and zombie these little jerks? Each one of these creepy kids are related to high ranking Republicans or the donors to that party. The original idea of bringing up lower class, poorer kids and showing them the way, is falling to the usual GOP nepotism, namely, "Can I get a summer camp for my spoiled brat for free" type of thinking.

These people are frantically building a class structure with privilages defined and rights left hazy if not repudiated entirely. They don't need the Miranda rights, for example. Even in gradeschool, if they get mad on the playground, they yell, "My daddy's lawyer is going to get your mom in trouble!" I even had such charmers yell that at me whenever I caught them doing something naughty.

I am surprized any of these kids go to the bathroom, even, without lawyers! And they are the ones screaming about judges and too many lawsuits and so on. Can drive one bonkers keeping up with the mountain of hypocritical doublethink these people are indoctrinated in.

If lynchings are "strange fruit", these kids are "Fruit of the Loon."
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